Lead us from temptation

On the one hand: lovely, shiny new, untouched Ashes to Ashes (episode 4, no less) sitting in its review case in front of me; on the other, Torchwood just recorded off t’telly. And what do I choose? Yup, like some weak-minded idiot, I gave Torchwood yet another chance. I can’t believe it. I feel sick and wrong.

Like an ex that you can’t stop sleeping with, even though you know it’s wrong and dirty, Torchwood tempted me back last night. It was the cut version, so thankfully wasn’t as long as usual. I was interested because it was “The Martha Episode” and I’d been looking forward to it for ages (since the announcement was made in fact). So, I shunned the lovely Ashes to Ashes, even though it had done no wrong and still interested me – we hadn’t even had our first argument over wet towels on the floor.

Of course, like sex with your ex, Torchwood was extremely disappointing, embarrassing and dirty. Although there were some lovely bits (Martha’s scenes with Owen and Gwen were quite sweet), and in fact Martha wasn’t too bad – enthusiastic, chirpy (she’s the Scrappy Do of the team). But it was all a bit… flat. There was bugger all chemistry between her and Jack (and by chemistry, I don’t mean shagging, RTD). For two people who have a unique link (that they both travelled and fell in love with The Doc) it was more like the meeting of two strangers than star-crossed companions.

The plot had potential, but was ruined by implausible deus ex machina and That Bloke From Neighbours, 24 and Every Popular Culture TV show, like, ever. Neighbours Bloke ended up shooting (and apparently killing) Owen (although I’m not going to believe that until I see the autopsy next week – and even then I’ll take it with a pinch of salt). I never thought I’d say this (and there’s bile rising in my throat as I type) but I kinda hope Owen isn’t dead. He was beginning to be less of a cock and I was looking forward to seeing how he and Martha panned out (not sexually, RTD). Plus he proved he could be lovely with that rather touching ‘date’ scene with Tosh.

Gah, what am I saying? See? It’s bloody got its claws into me again, just as I thought I’d got it out of my head. And it’s almost as if the TV schedulers want me to cheat on A2A, pitting it as they have against Mitchell and Webb’s new series. And I’m not that strong, dagnammit! I am a weak and feeble human being, who enjoys watching shit sci fi just so I can get angry at it and whinge about how it could (and should) be better. I think I’ll have to video A2A each week and watch M&W or Torchwood in that slot. But I’ll be thinking about A2A the whole time.